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  • Legalising v decriminalising? No, It Does not work.

    Drug statistics are showing an increase in drug use and drug related deaths in Portugal in many areas, but the facts are being spun out to support political arguments.

    “Drug-induced deaths in Portugal that decreased from 369 in 1999 to 152 in 2003,
    climbed to 314 in 2007 – significantly more than the 280 deaths recorded when
    decriminalization started in 2001”. (EMCDDS, Statistical Bulletin 2009, Table DRD-2.)

    The Portugal experience is about proactive treatment of an illness. We can do this in the UK and do not have to change the law for this.

  • Amsterdam imposes ban on smoking cannabis in school premises

    According to local media reports, Amsterdam’s city council plans to introduce a ban on smoking cannabis in school premises. Furthermore, 44 of the 250 coffee shops in Amsterdam will have to close as they are situated less than 250 metres from a school.

  • Walking On Eggshells. The Codependent Trap

    Co-Dependency & Fear. The Pain Continues For 75%

    • 95% of Family Interventions result in a loved one going into effective treatment.
    • Treatment outcomes are just as successful or unsuccessful  regardless of motivation to engage.
    • 75% of family members who inquire about or hear about Family Interventions take it no further.

    Families slip into codependency and fear in-line with the progression and development of a loved ones addiction, be it to alcohol, drugs or behavioural addiction. They start to mirror the psychology of minimisation, alibi systems and denial. This is required to avoid the pain of the reality which involves blame, anger, fear, shame, humiliation etc.

    Healthy values are disrupted and overturned when a family is in close to addiction issues.

    It is imperative that families unite to support each other to face fears, face anxiety and shame in a way that supports them and holds them. From this position they are able to intervene successfully and a loved one will take the offer of help. The Pre-Intervention process is so important. Read the books. Go to Families Anonymous or Al-Anon. Attend a family program. Read co-dependent No More.

    Most importantly, do not put off ending the misery of addiction by procrastinating over a Family Intervention.  To do nothing is to continue as you are. Addiction is progressive. You may want to await a “rock bottom” experience, this may help you avoid the reality by way of an intervention, but the outcome may not be so easy.

     

  • Bill Stevens Talks About Drugs & The Law

    Bill Stevens – Speaks on BBC  5Live

    Legalise or Decriminlise Drugs

    BBC 5LIve Tony Livesey Bill Stevens  Go to the 16minute point to listen to the discussion
    We spoke on the topic of drugs and the law in context of the recent discussions on changing the law. This link is good for a week.

     

     

  • Legalise Cannabis – Legalise Drug Induced Mental Health Issues

    Legalise Cannabis – Legalise Drug Induced Mental Health Issues

    Families around the world know the nightmare of a young person who develops mental health issues as a direct result of too much drug use. Legal or not legal, some people just can not handle, or stop at, recreational drug use. Cannabis is of particular concern in its modern strengthened form as it is responsible for many a poorly person who may never totaly recover a balanced mental and emotional life.

    Legal drug use is not a victimless legislation, and there is no way of knowing if it will by your nephew, son or neighbour who will be one of the few who develop serious problems. If it is, you will know about it, and then you will be in a world of hurt and frustration. Paranoia, psychosis or schizophrenia are very difficult to treat in young persons. This is made all the harder when the young person has been using drugs from late teens into early 20’s and still live with parents. They have been stoned through the normal emotional and mental maturing process. They find they are scared and aggressive, and totally dependent on friends and families to look after them.

    The good news is that only 1 in 10 persons has a pre-disposition to problematic drug use / alcohol use / gambling etc. The bad news is that on average 6 persons are directly affected by the drug induced problems of a friend or relative. 9 out of 10 persons who phone treatment centres, go to GP’s for help are the family, not the person with the problem. Who hits rock bottom first?

    As a Family Interventionist I am of course exposed to this in my work more than most. I am not against the fun and recreational or medicinal relationship with drugs that many want to focus on. However, please do not turn a blind eye to those who will be victims of this legislation. It is always the family and friends who ring for help. You could be one of them.

  • Parenting Teenage Drug Users

    Parenting Teenage Drug Users

    Parenting Skills

    Two simple steps for when your teen is using drink and drugs

     1.Disengagement

    Disengagement is a proven tactic that creates a space for change to take place. This communication tactic prevents those family rows that develop around statements like :

    “everybody smokes a bit of pot”

    “the worst thing about cannabis is the tobacco in the joint”

    “it is not even properly illegal”

    Learn to disengage by not engaging. Say “whatever” and walk away. Learn to say “no.” NO is a full sentence. Do not add more to the situation. A straight “NO” is good enough.

    Disengage from anger. Anger is a state or arousal normally built on a perception of injustice  Teenagers who are attempting to push away any threat to their drug or alcohol use will find that getting you angry is perfect. Walk away. Say “whatever”, and leave it.

    2.Control The Environment.

    Take back your home and bring the environment upto a standard of morals, values and atmosphere that is how you choose to live. The method for this is simple. Anything less that high living values in the home will create problems. Refuse to have those problems made out to yourselves as parents. Pass the problems over to those that have the knowledge and power to do something about it. Quite often this will be a refusal to have any illegal substance on your property. Dont moralise, judge or discuss. Just simply state that this is a way you choose to live. When the boundary is disrespected, ( as it will be) call the police. They can remove the drugs.

    When it happens again, do the same again. Love the teenager but control the environment. Change will quickly take place.

    These are 2 simple steps that parents can agree to maintain. Please read more in this book. Combine the principles in this book with the support of a RedChair family therapist to increase the chances of success.   

    Natural Consequences

    Finding a balance on letting a teen experience thier own natural consequences and protecting their wellbeing is certainly tough.

    Maybe looking at what your teen desires and is motivated by in life, what they perceive as rewards and then providing or withholding said rewards will allow you to shape behaviour.

  • Lets Play Alcoholism Roulette

    Alcoholism Roulette

    Alcoholism Roulette Rules.

    The player starts with a gun and a box of “Rock Bottom” amunition. The rock bottom bullets are varied and include experiences such as damaged clothes, bans from local pubs, domestic violence, drink drive, liver problems, workplace disciplinary, unplanned children, education failure, mental health issues, sexual health issues, cuts and brusis, blackouts, public humiliation, vomiting etc. There are 6 collections of rock bottom bullets increasing in severtiy and power. The final box includes homelessness, prision, death, wet brain, refusal of liver transplant etc.

    Players are randomly selected from society and made to play with or without their permission or choice.

    1. You join the game with 1 Rock Bottom Bullet in the gun.
    2. All the time you are drinking, then the barrel is spinning and stopping untill you hit a bullet
    3. The Rock Botttom Bullet is normaly selected from the first box, but not always. It is possible to have death as the first spin, but unlikely.

    4. You join the game with 1 Rock Bottom Bullet in the gun.

      So, pick up your alcoholism revolver and as you will have seen on the movies you place one bullet in the gun, close the chamber and spin the barrel. Where it lands, nobody knows.  (Step 1, We admitted we are powerless over alcoholism,)

      Early alcoholism can be identified as “You do not get into trouble every time you drink but every time you have been in trouble you have been drinking”

      The back to the alcoholism revolver. Just keep spinning the barrel pulling the trigger, spinning the barrel pulling the trigger. And then all of a sudden the gun fires.
      The real-life this means may be you have just been pulled over for drink-driving. Maybe your spouse or partner has just walked out on you due to the alcohol induced behaviour.
      But hey, it won’t happen again will it but remember if you have alcoholism did really well. But also, if you have alcoholism you certainly have denial, repression and minimisation of the event. You will already have alibi the leaving of the partner something to do with their behaviour.

      Let’s pick up the alcoholism revolver again and its place to bullets the Chambers leaving for empty once. Just keep spinning the barrel pulling the trigger spinning the barrel pulling the trigger. Slightly quicker this time assaults demanded it will be the gun fires.

  • Understanding The Relationship That Is Addiction.

    Understanding The Relationship That Is Addiction.

    Earl Grey Tea and Addiction – The Relationship Theory

    If you have a family member with a drug, alcohol or any other form of addiction that is clearly a problem you will have tried to get them to stop, cut down or control. In the process of this you will have failed and found your self aghast at the persons in ability to see clearly what you can see. Often you will be asking yourself “am I going mad, or is it them”?

    Addicts are always in denial. They have formed a relationship that is so totally encompassing of all of their faculties and experiences, that it is now a relationship, and it helps to understand what a relationship is.

    Lets use a Tea as a method of demonstrating some of the factors of addiction in a way we can all empathise with.

    I am not suggesting that Tea Drinking or Earl Grey are addictive, but rather a powerful relationship that often endures as long as life itself. When Twinnings changed the taste of its blended tea many  people were upset and disturbed. The relationship was dramaticaly  changed for ever, and could not be retrieved.

    Addiction can be physical dependency. Drugs like caffeine,  nicotine,  heroin etc all create a tolerance and withdrawal reaction that means the best of us will become addicted to it at a clinical level. However, when presented with a powerful enough reason to stop, we can. We may feel the discomfort of the withdrawal symptoms which pass within few days , and then it is on with a normal life without looking over our shoulder and having a powerful desire to return to what was doing us harm. That is normal.

    Addiction is always a psychological dependency. “Aahh , a nice cup of tea, what a relief”.

    Twinings the well-known tea manufacturer recently took it upon themselves to change the make-up of their long established and very popular earl grey variety of tea. This gives us an opportunity to understand some of the factors related to psychological addiction, which in turn may well empower family or friends of people with an addiction to understand a little bit more of what is going on.

    Just for a moment let’s assume that you have acquired a taste for earl grey tea. Actually, you probably have not acquired a taste but rather a relationship with all aspects of the tea. The taste is the identifier and represents all of the other factors of experience. The other factors are the timing of taking the tea, the heat, sweetness of the tea, the cup used and method of preparation. There are many factors, but taste is crucial. “Aahh, now that’s a nice cup of tea”. You feel the experience, you plan for it, you rely upon it, and are always disappointed when it fall short of expectation.

    When we think of experience we should always break it down into three major components.

    Behavioural. However we are acting and behaving. Breathing, body language and all aspects of the physical.
    Emotional. Pleasure or pain. Happy or sad. Content or anxious.
    Cognitive. How we talk to ourselves, our self talk. Self alibi statements, rationalisations, internal explanations. Opinions and views.

    • “Have a nice cup of tea. I always like a nice cup of tea when I get home from work it helps me to relax after the stresses and strains of the daily journey. It creates  a buffer between the trials and tribulations of the working day and my evening.(Cognitive)
    • I put on the kettle, go and get changed, turn on the telly . I rinse my favourite cup, and warm the pot. I always make sure I pour boiling water onto the tea and leave it to sit for 3 minutes.   (Behavioural)
    • The first sip is too hot.. perfect. The taste is familiar, reassuring pleasant and predictable.  I feel the pressure of the day evaporate and my shoulders relax, I sink into the chair and feel relief.  “Yes a nice cup of Earl Grey ticks all the boxes.” (Emotional)

    In the example above the persons brain has mapped and developed and hard-wired a predictable and controllable  cognitive behavioural emotional relationship with a cup of tea. The whole experience culminates in a controlled and planned feeling which is dependent in all of the components being present. All of the elements come together for a moment of pure bliss and serenity and freedom.

    The  simple statement “I always like a nice cup of tea when I get home” is evidence of the relationship. With the rigidity of all of those components there will be many times when they do not combine for the euphoric moment. The phone may ring, there may be commitment that means there is no time to sit on the sofa etc, but they’re all variables which in time will return for the opportunity to create a desired euphoric perfect cup of tea moment. The person will accept these problems knowing that the opportunity for the choice feeling is still available.

    When Twinnings changed the blend of the Tea and removed availability of the original they ended for ever that learned and acquired moment. They created a factor that permanently stopped the ability to reach the desired and known feeling.

    The taste of the moment was a lot more than the taste of the tea leaves, but totally depended on this crucial familiar element. All of a sudden the preprogrammed and hard wired experience within the human brain could no longer fulfil all the components of the moment. By changing the taste of the Tea all of the other follow on feelings and thoughts were interrupted and changed for ever. No amount of jiggery- pokery with the preparation process could recreate the mood that was previously so predictable.

    Maybe Twinings are expecting new experiences to be developed and found to be hard-wired and embedded into their customers experience. In truth this will probably happen.

    Slowly but surely people adapt to the experience. The start to create a self talk and alibi system to support and work towards the desired effect. If you can ride a bike, try unlearning how to ride a bike. The fact is we have memory of a relationship that will never go away. If at any point in the future somebody would turn up at the right moment with a cup of Earl Grey tea then that person would be transported back to that moment of euphoric soporific serene bliss. Just recall how a smell or a record playing on the radio can transport you to a time and place instantly. The mind hardwires the memory, which in turn still triggers the chemicals that create feelings.

    Drugs/alcohol/gambling  often appear to be bad in the hands of somebody with an addictive personality when they are acting out in an unmanageable problematic way. Many times friends and family will argue to stop using the drink or drugs or to cut down the control. They will suggest intellectual arguments that seem valid.

    “You will lose  your wife….,”

    “don’t you realise that you have a great job…”

    “It is the best university, it will set you up for life…”

    The intellectual arguments miss the point. The dependent person has an emotional relationship, a behavioural relationship and a thought based relationship that has totally integrated this drug use.  The will need effective treatment addressing the whole relationship in order to be free of the dependency, and the new relationship will have to be an improvement over the old one.  ( I bet there are many Twinnings Tea customers who swear the new Earl Grey is much better than the old)

    RedChair family interventions provide you with a tool to help take a person into treatment program. A good treatment program is able to create new brain mapping . The person and has a choice. They can either live in the safety of active recovery, or they can go back to the active addiction. A bit like riding a bike, you can never forget, and therefore it really is a choice. A Family Intervention creates all the elements required for a person to feel safe enough to take treatment.