They said “No”
This happens. You gather, you offer love, you offer treatment and nothing. However, Family Intervention is about Intervention on the family illness as well, the fear, the pain, the enabling that alleviates these feelings. This is part of an email to a mum who is in day 3 of waiting whilst the loved one continues.
Dear Family Member,
You are so worried that she is lonely, but talking to others in the group has helped.
We may or may not be able to project exactly how she feels, rarely do we know the true extent of another’s person’s feelings. Our own needs to feel proactive, or helpful, or to relieve our own discomfort of having to wait, often means we will project a thought in order to justify our own actions.
So, I really appreciate the power you and the other group member have, to talk about this and not act out on the urge. That is not easy.
A using drug addict does and will need family, so as you wait, they will come to you. Maybe in anger, or sadness, humour or distress, but they will come to you. By phone or in person, text or email, they will come to you and will try to make you take care of her problems.
So, be patient, and always talk to them where everything comes second to him/her putting down the drugs, and the offer of help you have for them.
Unless there is a very real risk of harm, (always call the emergency services), then be loving, firm and resolute.
I suggest you all meet and read a chapter out of Love First together soon, discuss it in the way we met and were able to listen to each other, to process our fears and hopes. Do invite him/her to the gathering, regardless of the response, meet anyway. Offering treatment to a lonely person is not wrong, but with drug or alcohol addiction, how you do it is crucial.
