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  • Addiction Curiosity & Adult ADHD

    Addiction Curiosity & Adult ADHD

    The Power of Curiosity: Survival, ADHD, and ACT

    Curiosity is often described as the spark that fuels discovery, creativity, and human connection. For neurodivergent individuals, particularly those with ADHD or those navigating addiction, curiosity becomes more than just a trait—it transforms into a survival technique. When faced with environments designed for neurotypical ways of thinking and behaving, curiosity becomes both a means of adapting and resisting. Let’s explore this through the lens of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and connect it to ADHD, addiction, and the drive for novelty.

    Curiosity as Survival

    Curiosity isn’t just a luxury; it’s a lifeline. For many neurodivergent individuals, the world of neurotypical norms can feel alien—full of unspoken rules and prohibitive systems that push them to the margins. In this context, curiosity becomes an act of rebellion and adaptation. It is the drive to ask, “What else could be out there?” and “What makes this work for others but not for me?”

    ACT Perspective:
    Curiosity aligns closely with the ACT concept of present-moment awareness. When we remain curious, we are better able to engage with the world as it is, rather than retreat into avoidance. In ADHD and addiction, avoidance might look like zoning out, over-indulging, or withdrawing when social norms feel too stifling. Cultivating curiosity can open doors to engage flexibly with challenges, even when the environment feels rejecting or discriminatory.

    Neurodivergent Survival:
    Systems that exclude or penalise difference—schools, workplaces, and social norms—force neurodivergent people to adapt creatively. However, these systems also punish mistakes disproportionately, creating a lack of tolerance for error and a deep fear of consequences. Curiosity is one way to push past this paralysis: it says, “What if I just try?”

    Novelty and Boredom: The ADHD Experience

    For someone with ADHD, boredom is not just a fleeting annoyance; it’s a profound discomfort. The mind craves novelty, vitality, and variation, driven in part by dopamine-seeking behaviours. This is why mundane routines or unchallenging environments can feel unbearable. The catch? This novelty-seeking can sometimes lead to impulsivity and struggles with consequences, especially in addiction recovery or high-pressure social situations.

    The Role of Dopamine:
    Dopamine, often called the “reward chemical,” drives our motivation to explore and achieve. In ADHD brains, dopamine pathways are less efficient, making curiosity and novelty a means of self-regulation. However, this same drive for exploration can lead to risky behaviours, particularly in addiction, where substances temporarily boost dopamine levels, mimicking the satisfaction that neurotypical brains might achieve naturally.

    ACT and Defusion:
    ACT encourages defusion—the ability to unhook from thoughts that dictate impulsive actions. For example, instead of acting on the thought, “I need something exciting right now,” we might notice the thought, label it as curiosity, and consider whether pursuing that thought aligns with our values. This creates a moment of pause—a space to choose vitality without veering into harmful impulsivity.

    The Double Trauma of Exclusion

    Growing up neurodivergent often means internalising the message that you’re “too much” or “not enough.” Social rejection, whether subtle or overt, can create lasting wounds, often leading to social anxiety or even hypervigilance in social settings.

    Surviving the Neurotypical World:
    Fitting in often requires masking—suppressing your natural quirks or curiosity to appear “normal.” Over time, this can lead to exhaustion, overstimulation, and a disconnect from one’s authentic self. Social chit-chat, for example, may feel meaningless, while environments with shared purpose (e.g., concerts, sporting events) feel more manageable because the focus is outward, not on conforming.

    ACT and Values-Driven Social Engagement:
    ACT emphasises values-driven action, helping individuals find meaningful ways to connect without losing themselves. For example, rather than forcing small talk, a neurodivergent person might lean into deeper conversations where their curiosity can shine. This not only reduces anxiety but also fosters genuine connection.

    Stages of Curiosity and ACT Integration

    Curiosity can evolve through several stages, especially for individuals navigating ADHD and addiction recovery:

    1. Survival Curiosity:

    Driven by necessity, this stage is about understanding how to navigate an unkind system.

    ACT Tool: Present-moment awareness helps ground survival curiosity in the here-and-now, reducing overwhelm.

    1. Exploratory Curiosity:

    Beyond survival, this stage involves seeking novelty for growth and self-expression.

    ACT Tool: Defusion can help manage impulsive decisions driven by exploratory curiosity, keeping actions aligned with values.

    1. Transformational Curiosity:

    This is curiosity in its highest form—exploring not just the world, but also one’s inner experiences.

    ACT Tool: Self-as-context fosters a compassionate perspective, allowing curiosity to deepen without self-judgment.

    ACT Metaphor: The Compass and the Path

    Imagine you’re exploring a dense forest. Your curiosity is the compass, always pointing toward something intriguing. But curiosity without a path can lead you astray. ACT is like the trail—it helps you move toward the things that matter most while staying grounded in your values.

    If you’re curious about a shortcut, pause and check your compass. Ask: “Does this path lead me closer to who I want to be, or am I just chasing the thrill?”

    Quirky Strengths and Shared Purpose

    Neurodivergent individuals often excel in environments of shared purpose—where curiosity, control, and clarity can thrive. Whether it’s a concert, a football match, or a collaborative project, these settings allow for authentic expression without the pressure of fitting into neurotypical norms.

    Finding Your Tribe:
    ACT encourages acceptance of discomfort while seeking spaces that align with your values. Surround yourself with people who value your curiosity and quirks, not despite them but because of them.

    Curiosity, when paired with ACT principles, becomes a superpower. It allows you to unhook from unhelpful narratives, move toward meaningful goals, and find joy in exploring the world—even when the world feels like it wasn’t built for you. As Russ Harris often says, “The aim of ACT is not to feel good, but to feel good about the way you live your life.” Stay curious, and keep choosing the life that feels truly yours.

  • Cocaine Clarity & Consequences

    Cocaine Clarity & Consequences

    The Hidden Cost of High-Purity Cocaine: A Wake-Up Call for High Achievers

    Imagine sitting down for a pint of beer at your local pub. But instead of the usual effect, it hits you with the intensity of a shot of whiskey. No warning, no gradual build-up—just an instant, overwhelming punch. This is a useful metaphor for what’s happening with modern cocaine use, especially among young executives, salespeople, and other high-achieving individuals.

    Today’s cocaine is not the cocaine of 25 years ago. Back then, lower purity levels and higher costs created barriers to heavy or regular use. Tolerance had to be built slowly over time, and access was more limited. Fast forward to now: cocaine is cheaper, more accessible, and alarmingly pure. This has created a perfect storm where even casual or social users can quickly find themselves overwhelmed by the drug’s effects, facing consequences they’re unprepared for—physically, emotionally, and socially.

    The Numbers Don’t Lie

    According to recent reports:

    • Cocaine purity levels have skyrocketed in the UK, with average purity now exceeding 70%, compared to around 30% in the 1990s. In some cases, purity exceeds 90%, bringing unprecedented potency.
    • The cost per gram has dropped significantly, making it more affordable for casual users and reducing the financial barrier to entry.
    • Hospital admissions related to cocaine use in the UK have quadrupled in the last decade, with acute cardiovascular events (heart attacks and strokes) increasingly common, especially when cocaine is mixed with alcohol.
    • Alcohol and cocaine together form a toxic chemical called cocaethylene in the liver, which amplifies the euphoric effects but also increases the risk of sudden death by 20-fold compared to using cocaine alone.

    Why High-Purity Cocaine Is a Double-Edged Sword

    For many high achievers—driven individuals in business, sports, or competitive environments—cocaine seems like a shortcut to maintaining energy, confidence, and connection during high-pressure situations. But the reality is far more dangerous.

    The sudden intensity of today’s cocaine doesn’t give users the chance to “ease into” a pattern of addiction. Instead, it can deliver:

    • Severe side effects immediately, such as chest pain, panic attacks, or significant mood crashes.
    • Rapid behavioural changes, including irritability, poor decision-making, and strained relationships.
    • Dramatic value misalignment, where users find themselves compromising personal integrity, work ethics, or relationships to maintain use.

    A Paradoxical Opportunity

    The very same high purity that makes cocaine so dangerous also creates an opportunity for intervention. Because the negative consequences show up so quickly, they can serve as a powerful wake-up call. For many young professionals, it’s not a slow descent into addiction—it’s an immediate and jarring clash with the reality of their choices.

    If you’re reading this and recognising any of these signs in yourself or someone close to you, this is your moment. High-purity cocaine offers little room for denial—it puts the consequences front and centre. Whether it’s a sharp drop in productivity, a damaged relationship, or a terrifying health scare, these signals are your body and mind’s way of saying, enough is enough.

    Time for Self-Intervention

    High achievers often pride themselves on resilience, discipline, and control. But cocaine’s grip erodes all of these qualities. The most powerful move you can make is to step back and reflect:

    • What am I sacrificing by using this substance?
    • Am I living in alignment with my values?
    • What would my best self choose in this moment?

    Acknowledging the issue isn’t weakness—it’s a sign of strength. It’s an act of reclaiming control and recommitting to your goals and relationships.

    Where to Go from Here

    If this resonates, consider seeking professional support. Therapists who specialise in addiction can help you explore the patterns and beliefs that fuel your use. If you’re in the business world, think of this process as re calibrating your performance strategy. If you’re in sports, it’s about returning to peak condition.

    The high purity of today’s cocaine is a sobering reality, but it also offers an immediate mirror to what isn’t working in your life. Use it as a wake-up call to make changes before the consequences deepen.

    As the saying goes, “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second-best time is now.” Recognise the signals, make the call, and take the first step toward a better future.

  • Understanding the Crucial Difference Between Enabling and Helping in Family Interventions

    Understanding the Crucial Difference Between Enabling and Helping in Family Interventions

    Helping is doing something for somebody who can not to this for themselves right now

    Enabling is doing something for somebody who could and should do this for themselves right now

    By Bill Stevens, RedChair Recovery Addiction Intervention Therapy Service

    At Red Chair Recovery Specialist Therapy Service, we’re committed to providing top-notch intervention services to families and individuals across the UK, especially in the beautiful Northwest of England. We understand that when it comes to family interventions, it’s essential to comprehend the subtle yet impactful difference between enabling and helping. In this blog, we’ll break down this vital distinction and offer practical insights to guide you through this challenging process.

    Enabling: What You Need to Know

    Enabling refers to the inadvertent or conscious support of harmful behaviours. In the context of addiction and complex issues, enabling can take several forms:

    1. Financial Support: It’s when you provide money to someone with an addiction issue, and they end up using it for their harmful behaviour.

    2. Covering Up: This is about concealing the consequences of their actions, shielding them from facing the harsh reality of their behaviour.

    3. Excusing Behaviour: Enabling often involves making excuses for their actions, which prevents them from acknowledging the problem at hand.

    Helping: The Path to Positive Change

    Helping, on the other hand, focuses on providing support with the intention of encouraging positive transformation. Here are the fundamental aspects of helping:

    1. Express Concern: Communicate your worries and fears about your loved one’s behaviour. Make it clear that you genuinely care about their well-being.

    2. Set Boundaries: Define the limits of what you’re willing to tolerate and what you expect in return. This establishes a framework for change.

    3. Suggest Treatment: Encourage your family member to seek professional help or therapy to address their issues and embark on a journey of recovery.

    Practical Examples: Applying the Knowledge

    Let’s put this knowledge into practice with some real-world examples:

    1. Enabling: Imagine you’ve been repeatedly bailing out a family member who’s been spending their money on their addiction, neglecting essential needs.
    Helping: Express your concern, set the boundary that you won’t provide more money for their addiction, and strongly encourage them to seek treatment.

    2. Enabling: You’ve been consistently cleaning up after a family member’s mess caused by their addiction, protecting them from the consequences of their actions.
    Helping: Allow them to face the consequences of their actions. Offer to clean up together and engage in a heartfelt discussion about the need for change.

    3. Enabling: During family gatherings, you’ve been making excuses for a loved one’s addiction to maintain appearances.
    Helping: Confront the issue openly, expressing your love and concern. Suggest seeking professional help to address their addiction and start the journey to recovery.

    Understanding the distinction between enabling and helping is paramount for families contemplating intervention. The ultimate objective is to offer support that fosters recovery without inadvertently perpetuating destructive behaviour. If you’re in the Northwest of England and need professional intervention services, don’t hesitate to reach out to us at Red Chair Recovery Specialist Therapy Service. We’re here to support you in your journey towards healing and transformation.

    For more information about our services, please visit our website or get in touch with us. We’re here to help you every step of the way.

  • Apricity – The warmness of the sun in winter

    Apricity – The warmness of the sun in winter

    apricity – The warmness of the sun in winter

    Apricity, the warmth of the sun on a cold winter day, is a feeling that can bring joy and happiness to anyone who experiences it. For those in sobriety, finding apricity can be crucial to living a rich and meaningful life. Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a powerful tool that can help those in recovery find the warmth and light they need to thrive.

    An Anonymous Client Who Introduced Me To The Word “Apricity” – Thankyou. It is a beautiful connection to a feeling.

    Mr Good Person

    Loving His Rich & Meaningful Life

    ACT is based on the idea that pain and suffering are inevitable parts of life, but that we can choose how we respond to them. Instead of trying to avoid or eliminate negative emotions, ACT teaches us to accept them and focus on living a fulfilling life in spite of them. This can be especially important for those in recovery, who may face ongoing struggles with addiction, cravings, and other challenges.

    One key aspect of ACT is the concept of values. By identifying our core values and committing to living in alignment with them, we can create a sense of purpose and meaning in our lives. For someone in recovery, this might mean prioritizing relationships with loved ones, taking care of their physical and mental health, or giving back to their community. By focusing on these values, we can find fulfillment and satisfaction that goes beyond simply avoiding drugs or alcohol.

    Another important component of ACT is mindfulness. By learning to observe our thoughts and emotions without judgment, we can develop a greater sense of self-awareness and self-compassion. This can be especially important for those in recovery, who may struggle with feelings of shame, guilt, or self-doubt. By practicing mindfulness, we can learn to accept ourselves as we are, flaws and all, and move forward with greater confidence and resilience.

    Of course, none of this is easy. Sobriety is a journey, and there will be setbacks and challenges along the way. But by embracing the principles of ACT, we can find apricity even in the darkest of times. We can learn to accept our pain and suffering, find meaning and purpose in our lives, and cultivate a sense of inner peace and contentment that goes far beyond temporary pleasures.

    So if you’re struggling with addiction or are in recovery, remember that apricity is within reach. By embracing the principles of ACT, you can create a rich and meaningful life, full of warmth and light, even in the coldest of winters.

  • SandStorm – SandSerene

    SandStorm – SandSerene

    Freedom from overwhelming engulfing thoughts feelings and sensations using a simple sand timer. Learn to unhook from obsessions, anxiety, anger, cravings, urges, impulsivity with a simple new ACT consistent exercise.

    Developed by Bill Stevens www.redchair.co.uk in 2022, clients feedback continues to confirm that this simple exercise is highly effective across many aspects of human struggles.

    Learning to mindfully, intentionally observe grains of sand as the trickle down, whilst ascribing unwanted thoughts to each grain of sand provided the important diffusion and unhooking required for psychological flexibility. “there goes my relapse thought”, or “there goes my panic” . Knowing that the fall of the grains of sand, is felt internally alongside as a release from the pent up intensity of feeling, creates time to respond to thoughts, feelings and sensations, memories or urges.

    Follow this developing ACT Metaphor with Bill Stevens as videos and instructions, training and support are released over the coming months.

  • Tactical Abstinence Programme

    Tactical Abstinence Programme

    Targeting Lifestyle choices that either improve or undermine a professional’s best quality career path.

    Professionals that choose health and wealth often have to accommodate clear and purposeful values, sacrifices, and behaviours that support and sustain the chosen path. Lifestyle is the largest variable that directly impacts short term success and long term sustainability for a career. Choose your highest health and wealth potential, taking the high road with our support.

    Choosing a Tactical Abstinence Lifestyle in support of health, wealth, and success is a pragmatic personal choice. Implementing it within our commercial world, often feels less like a choice, and more like a cross to bear and a chore to complete.

    The Tactical Abstinence Programme which incorporates Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), takes a different approach to substance abuse treatment by focusing on values-aligned behaviours rather than labels such as “alcoholic” or “addict.” This approach recognises that individuals may have different experiences and needs when it comes to substance use, and that not all substance use is problematic or harmful. (Substances: alcohol, prescribed or non prescribed medications, narcotics or gambling, gaming, binge behavours)

    Instead of using labels, the Tactical Abstinence Programme helps individuals identify their values and make decisions about their substance use based on whether it is moving them closer to or further away from those values. For example, someone who values their health may choose to abstain from substances that could have negative effects on their physical well-being, while someone who values their relationships may choose to limit their substance use to avoid causing harm to their loved ones.

    By focusing on behaviours rather than labels, the Tactical Abstinence Programme allows individuals to make informed and values-aligned decisions about their substance use. This approach can be particularly useful for those who may still be able to drink in certain ways without causing harm to their health, family, or vocational goals.

    Sobriety can often feel like a difficult choice in a world where it seems like everyone around us is able to drink and party with freedom from consequences. For many professionals in fields such as business, law, education, and politics, the temptation to turn to substances as a way to cope with stress, boredom, anxiety, and other negative emotions can be overwhelming. More than this, the early formation of a lifestyle is in context of the cultural norm. Work hard, play hard. The success, celebration, fitting in with the “in crowd” all apply environmental pressures few can ignore.

    Effect and Side Effect

    However, the ongoing side effects of using substances as a coping mechanism can ultimately cost us our own morals and bring about unwanted consequences. It’s important to recognise when drinking or drug use has become a problem and to consider the benefits of sobriety. Drinking for effect, relief, often creates dependency. This is early stage. The Side Effects are when the behaviours start to impact real world values like health, family and wealth.

    Many a high flyer, a star, has become a “shooting star”. With and oohh and aahhh, they light up the sky, hitting targets, figures, incomes aplenty, yet, they dissapear quickly, burned up by the atmosphere. Tactical abstinence is a more like the satellites you can see in the night sky, consistent, moving, on a trajectory. Less exciting than a shooting star, better than the millions of ordinary stars, and here for the duration.

    While the thought of giving up substances may seem painful at first, it’s important to remember that there are alternatives that can help us cope with the challenges of sober living. One such approach is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which is designed to help individuals learn how to live in a way that is more in line with their values and principles.

    ACT can be particularly helpful for addressing issues in the ultra competitive and demanding career paths for those who choose the higher road to performance, reward and status. Focusing on values based actions we can see that many forms of addictions move us away from our values, and as such are a short termism rather than a long termism behaviour.

    It’s important to remember that recovery is a journey, and it’s not always easy. But with the right support and resources, it is possible to find a new sense of peace and purpose in sobriety. By embracing a Tactical Abstinence Programme and incorporating ACT into our recovery journey, we can learn to live a life that is more in alignment with our values and goals.

    Tactical Career Coach and Therapist

    Working with a therapist and Tactical Abstinence Program Coach can provide a supportive and structured approach to overcoming the challenges of substance abuse and addiction. By learning to defuse from unwanted thoughts and attach actions to our values, we can gain a deeper understanding of our motivations and behaviors.

    One of the key aspects of the Tactical Abstinence Program is the recognition that substance use is not inherently good or bad, but rather it depends on the context in which it occurs. While there may be times when substance use is acceptable or even beneficial, such as in social situations where it is not causing harm to oneself or others, there are also times when substance use can become problematic and move us away from our values.

    Through the use of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), individuals can learn to identify their values and find pragmatic responses that help them stay sober in the short term and the long term. By learning to respond to difficult emotions and situations in a healthy and value-aligned way, individuals can find a new sense of purpose and fulfillment in sobriety.

  • Acceptance

    Acceptance

    Acceptance: making room for painful feelings, urges and sensations, and allowing them to come and go without a struggle.

    In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), acceptance refers to the process of allowing ourselves to experience difficult thoughts, feelings, and sensations without trying to avoid or control them. This involves an attitude of openness and willingness to encounter whatever arises in the present moment, even if it is unpleasant or uncomfortable.

    Acceptance can help us expand our range of emotional and behavioural options, as it allows us to let go of our attempts to avoid or suppress difficult experiences. This can give us more flexibility in how we respond to our thoughts and feelings, and allow us to act in line with our values and goals, even in the face of difficult emotions.

    To practice acceptance, it’s important to cultivate a non-judgmental attitude towards our experiences. This means allowing ourselves to have whatever thoughts, feelings, and sensations arise, without evaluating them as good or bad. It also involves letting go of the need to control or change our experiences, and instead learning to be with them as they are.

    In addition to expanding our emotional and behavioural options, acceptance can also help us to cultivate a sense of willingness to engage with our experiences, even when they are difficult. This involves a commitment to being present and to facing our thoughts and feelings, rather than avoiding them.

    Overall, acceptance is a key part of ACT and can help us to be more flexible and responsive in the face of difficult thoughts and feelings, and to live in line with our values and goals.

  • Values

    Values

    In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), values refer to the core principles and beliefs that guide our actions and give meaning to our lives. These values might include things like compassion, honesty, connection, or adventure, and they are often based on what we care about most deeply.

    In ACT, values are not just abstract ideas; rather, they are the foundation for how we want to live our lives. By identifying our values and making them the focus of our attention and behaviour, we can create a sense of purpose and direction that can help us to cope with difficult thoughts and feelings.

    To exercise perspective and choice in living with our chosen values, it’s important to first identify what our values are. This might involve exploring different areas of life, such as relationships, work, health, or personal growth, and asking ourselves what is most important to us in each area.

    Once we have identified our values, we can use them to guide our actions and make choices that are consistent with them. This might involve setting goals that align with our values, or making decisions that are in line with what we care about most deeply.

    It’s also important to remember that our values may change over time, and that it’s okay to revisit them and adjust our goals and actions accordingly. By staying connected to our values and using them as a guide, we can create a more fulfilling and meaningful life, even in the face of difficult thoughts and feelings.

  • Defusion

    Defusion

    In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), defusion refers to the process of letting go of our unhelpful thoughts and beliefs and finding a new perspective on them. This may entail realising that our thoughts are merely ideas and conjured up images in our minds and that they are not facts or realities over which we have no control.

    One way to exercise defusion is to practice mindfulness, which involves bringing our attention to the present moment and observing our thoughts and feelings without judgement. This can help us to see our thoughts as transitory mental events that come and go, rather than as fixed and unchangeable truths.

    Another way to practice defusion is to use specific techniques, such as labelling thoughts as just thoughts, using humour to distance ourselves from our thoughts, or using imagery to see our thoughts as leaves on a stream. These techniques can help us step back from our thoughts and let them go, rather than getting caught up in them.

    Overall, the goal of defusion is to create some psychological space between ourselves and our thoughts, so that we can respond to them in a more flexible and adaptive way. This can help us reduce the negative impact of our thoughts on our emotions and behaviour, and to live in line with our values and goals.

  • Self

    In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), the self can be conceptualized in different ways. The “self as context” refers to the observing and compassionate part of the self that is able to take a step back and witness one’s own thoughts and feelings without being overwhelmed by them. This part of the self is able to remain present and aware in the moment, even in the face of difficult experiences.

    The “conceptualized self” refers to the part of the self that is made up of thoughts and beliefs about who we are and how we should behave. This can include our identity, values, and goals. In ACT, it’s important to recognize that the conceptualized self is not the same thing as the true self, and that our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves can sometimes be limiting or unhelpful.

    The “self as content” refers to the experiences and sensations that make up our moment-to-moment experience. This can include thoughts, feelings, sensations, and perceptions. In ACT, the goal is not to eliminate or suppress these experiences, but rather to find a way to have them without being overwhelmed or controlled by them. This allows us to focus on what is most important to us and to take action in line with our values.