Helping is doing something for somebody who can not to this for themselves right now
Enabling is doing something for somebody who could and should do this for themselves right now
By Bill Stevens, RedChair Recovery Addiction Intervention Therapy Service
At Red Chair Recovery Specialist Therapy Service, we’re committed to providing top-notch intervention services to families and individuals across the UK, especially in the beautiful Northwest of England. We understand that when it comes to family interventions, it’s essential to comprehend the subtle yet impactful difference between enabling and helping. In this blog, we’ll break down this vital distinction and offer practical insights to guide you through this challenging process.
Enabling: What You Need to Know
Enabling refers to the inadvertent or conscious support of harmful behaviours. In the context of addiction and complex issues, enabling can take several forms:
1. Financial Support: It’s when you provide money to someone with an addiction issue, and they end up using it for their harmful behaviour.
2. Covering Up: This is about concealing the consequences of their actions, shielding them from facing the harsh reality of their behaviour.
3. Excusing Behaviour: Enabling often involves making excuses for their actions, which prevents them from acknowledging the problem at hand.
Helping: The Path to Positive Change
Helping, on the other hand, focuses on providing support with the intention of encouraging positive transformation. Here are the fundamental aspects of helping:
1. Express Concern: Communicate your worries and fears about your loved one’s behaviour. Make it clear that you genuinely care about their well-being.
2. Set Boundaries: Define the limits of what you’re willing to tolerate and what you expect in return. This establishes a framework for change.
3. Suggest Treatment: Encourage your family member to seek professional help or therapy to address their issues and embark on a journey of recovery.
Practical Examples: Applying the Knowledge
Let’s put this knowledge into practice with some real-world examples:
1. Enabling: Imagine you’ve been repeatedly bailing out a family member who’s been spending their money on their addiction, neglecting essential needs.
Helping: Express your concern, set the boundary that you won’t provide more money for their addiction, and strongly encourage them to seek treatment.
2. Enabling: You’ve been consistently cleaning up after a family member’s mess caused by their addiction, protecting them from the consequences of their actions.
Helping: Allow them to face the consequences of their actions. Offer to clean up together and engage in a heartfelt discussion about the need for change.
3. Enabling: During family gatherings, you’ve been making excuses for a loved one’s addiction to maintain appearances.
Helping: Confront the issue openly, expressing your love and concern. Suggest seeking professional help to address their addiction and start the journey to recovery.
Understanding the distinction between enabling and helping is paramount for families contemplating intervention. The ultimate objective is to offer support that fosters recovery without inadvertently perpetuating destructive behaviour. If you’re in the Northwest of England and need professional intervention services, don’t hesitate to reach out to us at Red Chair Recovery Specialist Therapy Service. We’re here to support you in your journey towards healing and transformation.
For more information about our services, please visit our website or get in touch with us. We’re here to help you every step of the way.